I didn’t take the wheelchair! The nurse was sceptical when I confidently said that I can walk downstairs …even though I was too weak, my will was strong enough.
I remember how strange it felt I was walking after many days It felt surreal…I was going home! The smell of sanitizer slowly faded as I walked towards the elevator awaiting it to open its arms one last time.
With a ding we reached the ground floor The nurse lead the way deftly balancing my reports under her arm. I clearly remember the cold feeling as we crossed the morgue… I willed myself to look straight ahead.
Light poured in from the entrance I blinked to adjust my eyes and ears to the light and sound of the day. Aah…it felt warm…it felt good…alive! My parents stood there waiting for me I was finally going home.
But the smell and sounds still haunts… peeping from behind the curtain of mind Unwilling to be shaken off or even forgotten…nah…not yet! Neither the ambulance sirens nor the flatlining machines.
That was a close call…too close. I breathe today…many lost their breaths shutting down the organs one by one and in a matter of minutes…end came. Pillows stayed wet with last tears someone struggled hard but lost…alas!
No amount of words can empathize what one has lost… time is irreversible. Nope, words do not affect me anymore for I lost a big part of me when I struggled to breathe…an endless race against time thinking perhaps this was my last breath!
This pandemic isn’t a joke but the gravity of the situation is only realised by those who faced it. Is it really necessary to bet on one’s life? It’s all over the moment you stop breathing. Not everyone gets a last chance!
I stacked the stones one at a time reminiscing the bygones not worth my dime one each for the hurdles I had already crossed weighing the bundles of precious years I lost yet I did gain found myself and my voice with the strength of pain I made my choice to listen to my heart cherish my identity with courage to restart and discover serenity
the quiet night speaks in whispers shy flowers murmur how the friendships of summer were meant to eventually disperse the stars blooming at night merge into the blue skylands leaves clasp their empty hands beckoning the warm daylight to revive them with its breath no one admires the bowers that gallantly protect the flowers from scorching to death the breeze like a new bride lightly walks with a veil of mist I try to hold time in my fist admiring life with zeal and pride
I wish to be a shooting star so that I hear your heartfelt wish Then streak across the vast dark sky and happily break into pieces to fulfil it Wherever I fall I’ll scatter love You’ve given me all the love you got No more regrets will pinch me I’ve finally joined the dots You and me shall always be Like the stars in the arms of the sky The sky is there to stay like you and I’ll live in the twinkle of your eye
There at the bend of the stream Where the water stretches its arms Standing on the submerged gravel Overlooking the gaze of the mountains I see I hear I feel The love The joy The tranquility I yearn for when I’m away from this heaven – my refuge Keeping the toxic thoughts distant Comforting the aches of the heart and mind There at the bend of my life Where the water heals me